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Doug
So today I am playing fun games with HTML. I know the diary looks all amateurish and incomplete - but this is the best I am able to do so far. I have this vision in my head of what I want it to be, and I really just need to learn how to make it that way. Of course, I also need to learn how to do actual work related stuff while I'm at actual work - so I may wind up abandoning this task altogether and switching back to a ready made template. In any case - last night I hung out with my old friends Julie & Shannon. Julie, Shannon & I were all bookkeepers back at the old grocery store that I used to work for. I hadn't seen them in ages and Shannon is all married and has a baby now and sometimes those two just drove me absolutely batty anyway, so I was a little nervous. Back in the day, Shannon was a messed up kid. I was surprised at how different she is now. I never in a majillion years would have guessed that she'd be a good mom, much less that she'd love motherhood, but she really is and she really does. We had good times. I brought along photo albums of the last 4 years of my life and I noticed how many pictures I have of my friend Doug. My friend Doug got married last summer - and I haven't gotten over it just yet cuz he was supposed to be my backup plan. We have quite a history as I was absolutely madly in love with him for the first 2 years that I knew him and then he decided to go out with this girl I introduced him to - behind my back. It took a (long) while, but I stopped being in love with him and we managed to stay friends and over time he became like a brother to me. Seriously. Like he would come over to my house and hang out with my stepdad. I'd be all "yeah, gonna go sledding now...you just...you just hang out with my parents I guess....?" It wasn't an easy ride though. When I moved to North Carolina I left him a scathing letter about everything I thought was wrong with him. I don't even remember why - but I must have been really pissed off at him at the time. We overcame that and slipped back into our brotherly routine and then...well...he got married. I don't know what happened there. I met her last Christmas (as in Christmas 2001) and wasn't at all impressed. This may be because a) I hadn't seen Doug in over a year and he showed up 2 hours late and left early, and b) this was the first time I had met Miss Fabulous and she spent the entire night dry humping Doug (you think I'm exaggerating...I should have videotaped it and sold it as soft core porn) on our friends living room floor. I'm generally not a difficult person to get along with but I do not (NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT) deal with public displays of affection well. Especially when they're so graphic. I wanted to stab myself in the eye with a fork. Anyhow, I digress. So - I'm not very much approving of Miss Humpy Hooch, and I'm thinking that Doug is making a very rash decision and that he's thinking with Little Doug - because Doug has decided to wait until marriage before he has sex, and I think he did it. I really do. But I also think that he was so desperate to do it that he married the closest thing to him. This may not be fair, she may be great, but I know for a fact that the last time he and I had a serious, personal, in depth conversation about her - he had serious doubts as to whether or not they were going to make it work. 6 weeks later she's sporting a ring. MAYBE they worked all their shit out and magically became two people who could live as harmoniously as two people ever can live together happily ever after and whatnot - but I think not. I think Little Doug threw his hand in the ring and started calling some shots. Wow - I digress again. So the Christmas meeting goes horribly awry and then I don't hear from him for months. I get a wedding invitation. The wedding will take place in BFE Wisconsin - 6 or 7 hours from my parents home in Minnesota. This means that I'll have to get a hotel room. I'm also the only one of that entire group of my friends who is still completely unattached. So I'll be going to the wedding alone - and therefore paying for EVERYTHING alone. On top of the financial situation there is the situation wherein I DO NOT LIKE THE GIRL HE'S MARRYING. Like - at all? So, I don't go. However, after much convincing from several friends outside of the circle - I do send a card and a gift certificate for as much as I could afford. Which, admittedly, wasn't much, but it was enough to stretch my budget for that month. I never heard a word from him (or her) again. No thank you note. Nothing. Not since last August. Nothing when I moved home. NOTHING. He's not the only one though - other friends from that group have been very sketchy weird with me since then too. I don't know if I committed some horrible faux pas or what - but nobody's talkin' to me. Normally, that would be fine with me. Cuz dudes? I couldn't afford to come to the wedding. I'm real sorry. Now get the fuck over it. The end. However, looking at those pictures last night...I suddenly missed him very much and wondered what the hell is problem was. I was toying with the idea of e-mailing him until Bear gently informed me that A) the horse is dead B) stop beating it. And then told me that as confrontational as I am (true) having the last word in this particular case would be anti-climactic and absolutely not worth it. And also? I should grow up and get over it like everyone else did. Aw. I love her. And also...true. So I'm letting it go and chalking it up to one of those life-type things that just happens. You grow up, you get married, you lose touch with your childhood (and by childhood I mean late adolescence) friends. I'm really itching for a fight now though. I like it when I get to be righteous. But I'm going to behave. In other news - everyone suddenly has a friend that would be perfect for me. No seriously! The strange thing is - I may let them try. I'm feeling spunky and adventurous lately. I'm tired of shopping for my own men. If one of my fabulous friends has someone they think I should meet - I will go right on ahead and meet them. The very worst that can happen is that I will wind up with a hysterical disasterous date story, right? And it's been SOOOO long since I had one of those. Yes. And that is that. I have to go eat now so that I can go to CPR class this afternoon and get all educated and whatnot. Good times.
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