|
Rocketships to the Moon
I want to be more grown up than this. I want to make my own decisions and go my own directions and to hell with what anyone else has to say about it because this is how I feel and this is what I'm going to do about how I feel and you can't stop me because I am a grown up person. I want to be listened to and respected for what I have to say. I want my opinion to matter, I want to sit at the adult's table during holiday's and I want to be allowed to leave whenever I want to leave because I have a grown up life out there that I need to go live. I want those things. Most of the time. There are days like today when I sit here remembering a long car ride home to Minnesota from North Carolina and I was maybe 16, and I had a sniffly nose and a bad cough and I spent a good portion of that trip curled up on my grandma's lap while she ran her fingers through my hair and I just slept and slept. Today - I would like to be that girl again. I would like to be tucked into bed and read a goodnight story (preferably the one about a rocketship going to the moon). I would like to have a warm lap waiting for me to sit in at the end of the day and maybe some cheese and crackers for my after school snack. I would like a gentle voice to wake me up in the morning to a house that smells like maple syrup and coffee. Mostly, I would just like someone to come here right now and carry me through the hard parts because it's certainly getting hard and I don't know if I can find my way all alone... Listening To: I've been sick for the last few days so there hasn't been much noise beyond the whirring of my fan with my snoring as accompaniment. Reading: "Getting Over It" by Anna Maxted. Interestingly it's about a girls journey after her father dies. It's fairly lighthearted and fluffy, but there are some dad issues and death issues that she tackles that seem to hit dead on right now. Recently Saw: I've been barely conscious since last Sunday afternoon, but before that I managed to see both Spellbound and Capturing the Friedmans. They were both fantastic in very different ways. I'd have to say that I liked Capturing the Friedman's better - but mostly that's just because I enjoy human interaction/family drama a lot more than is probably healthy. Both are excellent documentaries though and I'd recommend either of them enthusiastically. |
NAVIGATE
new
|