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Minutes Fade
Ex-roommate G who now has a fancypants job in South Carolina: So I'm thinking of just grabbing a beer and going to sit out by the pool. Shelly: Oh. By the pool. G: Yup! It's like 70 degrees here today. Shelly: Motherfucker. It's like a degree here today. As in one. Single. Solitary. Degree. G: Heh. I know. I was thinking of you earlier today actually. Shelly: You were? Aw. G: Yeah, I was like "who lives in a place that sucks? Oh! Shelly!" Thank GOD the holidays are over. And I mean it. I'm not particularly fond of January and February as a rule, but at least the holidays are over. Life can stop doing that bizarro-world thing it does for just the last few weeks out of the year, and things can go back to normal. I had decided that I was going to celebrate New Years Eve this year with a non-celebration out at my parents house. My friends were going out, but they didn't call me until the last minute (which I have a thing about I guess) and I wasn't up to the whole thing, so I threw on my pajama's and headed out to spend a quiet evening with my mom, stepdad, stepbrother and sister in law. Only not. My stepbrother and sister-in-law cancelled and by the time I got there my mom was putting the finishing touches on her meatball platter to bring to the party they were headed out to. They insisted that I join them and I pointed out my pajama's and they insisted that it didn't matter because it was just the people we camped with all summer (and those people have seen me after 3 days without showering - which is not a state in which very many people in the world have seen me) so I finally caved in and went along. Good times were had. Nobody cared about my jammies, and by the time we left it had been decided that from now on the NYE party would be a pajama party in honor of me. That decision inspired me to wear my jammies everywhere from now on. So far...I haven't gone anywhere. In any case, we were back at my parents house by 11:30, I sat it out and watched Conan count it down, gulped the remains of my champagne, wished them happy new year, and hopped in my car and headed for home. G called when I was about halfway home, and we kept each other company for a couple more hours before I found myself curled up into a ball on my bed fighting to keep my eyes open. All in all - not a bad New Years Eve. I was looking for low key, low drama and low key, low drama I received. So now - the new year. I didn't make any resolutions this year. I have plans - but they've not been inspired by the so called "fresh start" offered at this time every year. I think a good plan, given my state of mind lately, might be to adopt a "one day at a time" philosophy. We'll see. There are so many different directions in which this year could go...I'm thinking maybe I'll just see where the wind takes me. Listening To: Monsters by Ari Hest. And - just because I feel it's appropriate right now - the lyrics: At the midnight hour you can feel the minutes fade Licking wounds from yesterday, bracing for tomorrow�s stage I create these monsters, seems like every way I can It�s never my intention, but somehow it feels strangely planned And this goes to show you Ignorance is underrated, �cause I�d rather forget all about my past Cruel how these moments never cease to last And you could do better than this If you refuse to hide These monsters will subside Story after story, squeezing fiction out of fact Trying to face forward, but always looking back Conjuring up danger when you know you�re safe and sound Once you start to question yourself, the road you take leads down, down And this goes to show you Ignorance is underrated Reading: The HOuse of Sand and Fog by Andre Dubus III. I'm trying to force myself to enjoy this book. It's got about 20 more pages before I give up on it altogether. Recently Saw: I was a hermit this past weekend. I watched Alex and Emma which I was really excited about but it turned out to be kind of...crappy. I watched the "Another World" marathon on the Soap Channel on Saturday afternoon and - oh my god that soap was awesome! The acting! So bad! The storylines! So fake! So naturally I sat there for all 5 hours of it. Also: The Sweetest Thing and One Fine Day - both of which I bought this past weekend and both of which I watched yesterday. I'm learning, I think, that living vicariously through these things is the only thing that keeps me from turning into stone.
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