|
It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas
Ten years ago we�d have probably sat sulkily in our seats trying to pretend that each of the others, and most especially the parents, didn�t even exist. We�d have buried our noses in books or magazines or the latest portable game device and we probably would have kicked or punched anyone who dared to get within a 2 foot radius of our �personal space.� It would have been a long, silent, miserable day trip. Yesterday we piled into the big red van (affectionately nicknamed �The Chili Wagon�) that my parents are currently using as a winter beater car and for the first time in ages my family took a Christmas trip together. We�ve grown since then � both physically as people and in family size. Any thoughts of personal space were quickly extinguished by the extra body space taken up by my sister-in-law (SIL) and my sister�s boyfriend (SBF). We piled the presents in the back and my sister whipped out a stash of magazines to distribute. Five minutes into the 90 minute road trip, it began. Sister: Uh! How come Stepbrother and SIL get Burger King! We didn�t get Burger King! Mom, can we stop and get snacks? Mom: No. Stepbrother: Are we there yet? Shelly: Sister has to pee! Stepdad: We have a plastic bag up here if you need it� When things finally died down (without any threats to turn this car around and go home) we began flipping through the magazines to begin our assault on pop culture. SIL: UGH! I hate Mandy Moore! Sister: Shelly love�s Mandy Moore, you better watch out. Shelly: I don�t love Mandy Moore, I just think that of all the pop princesses out there right now, she�s one of the least offensive. I don�t mind her. Sister: Seriously. She loves her. You better watch out. SBF: If by �out there� you mean skanky. Sister: Seriously � look at her hair. And that makeup is making me nauseous. Shelly: I actually like her hair better dark. I think the real problem here is her face. Sister: And the bottle of bronzer she apparently dumped all over her body before these pictures were taken. Shelly: But mostly her face. Really. Shelly: Woah! Those aren�t boobs. Those are bazoomba�s! Mom: Let me see! SIL: You�d think if you�re seeing that much boob, there�d be a nipple in there somewhere! Where the Hell are her nipples? Shelly: I�m sure they�re folded under there somewhere. Sister: EW! They�re all tucked underneath?! Shelly: I�m sure once your boobs have reached such phenomenal proportions, you learn how to fold and tuck. Feeling a little bit sick to our stomachs (so. Many. Cookies.) we finally piled back into the Chili Wagon and began the trip home. Sister: Wow. Grandpa has a lead foot. SIL: Catch him! Get him! Shelly: Is that them right beside us? everybody waving maniacally (silence) SIL: Alright � now someone smash their boobs up against the window! (silence) SBF: *sigh* Okay�. Let the Christmas festivities begin! Listening To: The Most Fabulous Christmas Album Ever (no, that�s what it�s really called). And it IS really the most fabulous Christmas Album ever because it has songs like �Santa Baby� and �All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth,� �Baby It�s Cold Outside,� and the classic �Feliz Navidad.� Reading: I finished �Why Girls are Weird� on Friday night. I really did love it. I couldn�t put it down. I have been converted to a full blown Pamie fan. Now Reading: Gap Creek by Robert Morgan. So far it�s not bad at all� Recently Saw: I watched Freaky Friday on Saturday night because I needed to let Chad Michael Murray be my boyfriend for a while. I actually quite enjoyed it. I even laughed out loud a couple of times. My sister�s BF even enjoyed the last 45 minutes of it (which is all that he caught). I�m not sure how I feel about Linsey Lohan, but the movie was entertaining if not groundbreaking.
|
NAVIGATE
new
|