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The Legend of Hatchetface and Camel Toe
My friend Miller is known for his camp games. He's legendary amongst those of my friends who don't know him well, for bringing the "Zoomie Zoomie" game into our lives. Zoomie Zoomie consists of a group of people sitting around in a circle and numbering off. The first person (or director) is "Zoomie Zoomie," the next person down would be "one one" and then "Two two" and "three three", etc. There is some clapping and hand motion involved and you have to go around the circle saying first your name (or number) and then the name (or number) of another person until someone screws it up. To this, we add drinking. Whoever screws up has to drink. The more you drink, the more screw ups occur. It's a vicious cycle and it's at least 200 times more fun than it sounds. About a year and a half ago, while I was still living in North Carolina, a couple of Miller's old friends came down to visit and we all got together. We decided to play some "Zoomie Zoomie" - but to spice it up by using dirty words (because we're 12, you see, so dirty words are still a novelty). Our names were the likes of "Shit shit" "Fuck fuck" "damn damn" and the like. My old roommate Jennifer chose "Hatchet Wound" as her name - but over the course of the night (as many, many drinks were consumed) it somehow got changed to "Hatchet Face" and it's how she has been lovingly referred to among that group of friends ever since. Last night I brought up the Zoomie Zoomie game with Miller as I'm hoping to fit a game or two in while I'm visiting in a couple of weeks. Me: While I�m there, I think we should get a game of Zoomie Zoomie going. It�s legendary amongst my friends who have played it. M: Have your friends here ever played it? I mean, besides Gashface, remember that? Me: How could I forget that? Except, I think it was actually Hatchetface. It�s from when Chuck & Ed were visiting! M: Good times. Me: I just remember Chuck running down the road at 2 a.m. hollering �I�m going to ride with Hatchetface!� M: Chuck is hilarious. Miss M. wasn�t there though, right? Me: YES she was! She just left early. She was Camel Toe! M: Oh shit! I don�t remember there being another person! Me: You don�t remember CAMEL TOE? Seriously? M: I honestly don�t. Was Bear there too? Me: Um, no. Bear was there a different time. And we never played Zoomie Zoomie. Do you remember George? M: Yeah! I remember George! Me: So you remember George but you don�t remember Camel Toe? Interesting. M: Maybe I�m gay. Me: Oh man. I�d be so sad if you were gay. But on the other hand, I could probably hook you up� M: GEORGE IS GAY? Me: What? NO!! George is like the least gay person I�ve ever met. OTHER guys are gay. M: Oh. Nevermind then. I�m not gay. Just kidding. Awww. Listening To: Reading: Well, mostly TWoP recaps right now. Carnivale, the OC & 7th Heaven. They make me giggle. Recently Saw: The Carnivale that I missed on Sunday night. That show is messed up. But I love it. I mean, I think I love it. It's only 2 episodes in. Still plenty of time for love to go awry.
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