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A Frank Discussion About Sex - except Not
Thank God I have friends. When my own life offers up nothing noteworthy to kvetch about, my friends will gladly throw their hats in the ring and dance gaily about until I pluck which hat I want to stomp on today. Bear? Today is your lucky day, love. Most of you will remember that Bear has, what we like to call, a whatever (also known as RoadRunner), and that Bear's whatever is kind of a spaz. He also, apparently, is a free spirit. In light of recent events wherein it was revealed that RR had been involved in scenarios involving gluttonous amounts of alcohol and (at the urging of his frat brothers) naughty hijinks with a woman who is older than my mother and may or may not have involved a turkey baster and pygmy goat (I'm just feeding the imagination there kidlets), and - y'know - porn style threesomes, Bear became concerned about where the Roadrunner's boundaries lie. The following conversation ensued: B: is there anything you WOULDN'T do? PLEASE NOTE: Bear is referring to sexual antics here. They'd just had a conversation about sex shenanigans with geriatrics (or some such) and this question stemmed directly from that conversation. RR: you mean on my crazy side....well it also depends on if I get a shy moment, too..but apart from that.....I will not do anything that risks someone's or my own life....I'm still thinking... RR: I streaked once...likely not again...then again I would likely do something like that only at college......stuff like that I would only do at college....because at [my] college it's crazy or socially risky behavior, but there is also a feeling of safety there. NOTE: So apparently anything short of kiling people goes! Yahoo! B: I'm just trying to see where your boundaries are...or if you even have any, minus something that involves death. RR: I can't think of anything I would do. B: anything you wouldn't do, you mean. RR: would do. NOTE: Um. What? B: I'm confused. You can't think of anything you WOULD do? Meaning, you wouldn't do anything sexually risky? RR: I would NOT knock over garbage cans, break mailboxes, or start fires; basically I would not destroy someones property. NOTE: No. Seriously. What? B: forget it. You have no idea what I'm talking about. RR: As you know , I can be loud RR: I do get it...i'm just trying to think...... NOTE: Um. Dude? You don't get it. Quit now before she cuts your feet off. B: No seriously. This is a moot conversation. RR: ok RR: F!n3 NOTE: I just had to put that in there because he really did type it that way and I wanted everyone to be able to point and laugh. RR: waterballoons thats a fun one...not explicit though RR: im mostly just loud NOTE: Here followed about 4 pages of conversation about what Bear said and what RR thought about what Bear said and what Bear thought about what RR thought about what Bear said and it is all really quite comical if read in the right tone, but seriously? Who has the energy to type that shit out. Also seriously? Who has conversations like that? Boys. Boys have conversations like that. Only it's usually the other way around, which makes this conversation all the more bizarre. Bear is clearly trying to discuss sexual inhibitions or lack thereof and the Roadrunner? He would like to discuss water balloons. Yes. Yes, it's true. Bear is dating a 9 year old boy. ************************************** Still Reading: Breaking the Silence by Diane Chamberlain. Recently Saw: Abandon (with Katie Holmes & Benjamin Bratt) last night. It was...disturbing. And very "I know what you did last summer" - ish. I really really love Scrubs. And Good Morning Miami. Good times.
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