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Dreamlover Where are You-ou-ou...
Bear has taken it upon herself to find me a boyfriend. God Bless her. And may she have better luck with it than I ever have. We laid down some boundaries this afternoon though. It went a little something like this: ME: Oh hey! Cute guy works for the cable company? I will MARRY him if he can get me free cable. Seriously - my #1 qualification these days is: "can get me free shit." BEAR: what if someone gets you tons of free shit and he's like 5'2" and super beefy. ME: Dude. If he's 5'2"? He'll be UNDERNEATH MY BOOBIES. They won't even be eye level. He'll have to reach up to grab hold of my boobs. Sad. So...no. I'll modify that last statement to read "has to be able to get me free shit AND be no more than 1 inch shorter than me." BEAR: 'kay. so he's 5'8", gives you tons of free shit. Super beefy...smelly beefy. so beefy, in fact, you find a piece of toast tucked nicely in a crevice of beefiness. He can't grow a beard, either...it grows in all-patchy like and he refuses to shave. And he's super oversexed and insists on playing Minesweeper during hankypanky b/c it turns him on...all dem bombs and shit. And he drive a Chevette named Shanaynay. ME: Okay - so what kind of free shit does he give me? BEAR: towels and shit. ME: DUDE ***NO*** I won't date shrimpy beefy dude who stinks for TOWELS and shit. GRODY. BEAR: Just seeing where your boundaries are dude. So, I'm confident that she has an idea of what is acceptable to me now. Let the games begin! ***************************************
"T" minus 3 days until Valentine's Day. More importantly? "T" minus 5 days til my birthday. It appears as though I will be spending my actual birthday with my aunt and uncle and my gramps. This is absolutely not the way I would have pictured myself spending my 26th birthday had you asked me 5 years ago, but y'know? I'm okay with it. My last two birthdays have been disasterous. No seriously. Disasterous. When I turned 24 I was living with Adam and Jennifer in North Carolina. Adam and I were dating and our entire lifestyle had a sort of party vibe at the time, so I was expecting big things. What I got was a stuffed frog (and while I love frogs? It's seriously the most unimaginative thing a person can get me. It's just so EASY...). I spent the evening coloring at the kitchen table because Adam didn't have the money to go out and Jennifer mysteriously disappeared. Whoopie 24! For my 25th Birthday I was living with George. The day started off well enough, with George buying me breakfast (YEAH McDonalds) and then his friend the General stopped by around 1 and we got hammered. Yes. I said 1. As in the middle of the afternoon. Good times. So--I took a nap and sobered up and George & Margy took me out to a super schmancy dinner and then we went dancing. All was well until I realized that George and Margy were falling down drunk and THEY were MY ride home. So, I spent the rest of the evening staying sober and talking to the bouncers while George draped himself over a heating vent and prepared to be sick, and Margy pouted on a couch in the back. Seriously folks. My friends know how to PAR-TAY. Sooo-this year I'm going out for Japanese in Minneapolis with my aunt and uncle and my gramps. Seriously - how much drama can there be in that? Really, that's all I'm looking for - a drama free birthday. I'd like to get giggly drunk with a couple of friends, but if I have to ask for it? Chances are it'll backfire horrifically and my gramps is as cool a date as I'm going to find. ************************************** YAY to New Best Friend coming to play! Here's to slumber parties and Counting Crows and hopefully no more snow! Yippee! ************************************** Reading:FINALLY finished "A Virtuous Woman" by Kaye Gibbons. It was good, though honestly? A little dry for my tastes. Now I've just started the 4th Harry Potter Book (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire) and it's the hugest book in the entire world, so this should be interesting Recently Saw:Joe Millionaire last night. *PUKE* No seriously. P-U-K-E. What a complete waste of time. What the hell was the point? Evan took a walk with the girls and the viewing audience got to watch all the same stuff that we've ALREADY SEEN. Yahoo! Such crap. |
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