The Better Part of Me...

In the Year 2000
2007-01-31 @ 10:53 a.m.

I have spent the morning imagining that in a parallel life, I married the guy who asked me to the spring ball in 2000.


I have no idea.

I think I've just been thinking a lot about what my life would have been like if I'd made different choices. When the guy asked me to the spring ball, I was in the middle of a relationship that I knew was doomed but that I was 2000% committed to nonetheless. The spring ball that year happened to fall on my birthday and I was convinced that he'd want to do something with me instead. So I turned the spring ball guy down. I wound up spending my birthday miserable at home with him because he didn't have any money to take me out and, what's more, he didn't have any ideas.

What if I'd said yes? What if I had recognized that the relationship I was in was ridiculous and I'd just stepped outside myself and forged a new path. What would have happened that night? What would have happened the nights afterward? Obviously there's no way of knowing, but I wonder sometimes. I feel like there's a parallel universe out there where I'm living a different life. Making different choices.

There's nothing wrong with my actual life. I'm pretty satisfied with it actually. I've been feeling a little down and out about my "friend" situation lately (resulting in mini meltdowns more than once) - but I got an e-mail from a relatively new friend this morning, and it was a super corny and dorky forward, but it made me laugh and it made me think that, after all, maybe this all those decisions I made way back when led me to the exact perfect path for me.

<-- -->


100 Things