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Evil Jealous Fairies
I ran into a boy I used to love last weekend. That is to say, I walked into a store and marched straight back to the Christmas lights to find the strand of 50 multi-colored lights that I was looking for to hang in my front window. I completely ignored the guy standing less than a foot away from me as I was on a mission and I wanted nothing more than to be at home at that very second and I couldn�t have really cared less about the guy I saw out of the corner of my eye wearing the blue coat and standing �deer in the headlights still� and staring at me. I actually moved closer to him as logic dictated the strands of lights were getting smaller the further left I went. It wasn�t until he did an abrupt about face away from me and cleared his throat that I actually lifted my eyes to look at him. There�s this sense of panic that I have felt in the past. I associate it with incredibly embarrassing or incredibly awkward situations. A sort of numbness takes over my body and all outside sound disappears, replaced by the roar of blood rushing in my head. I froze for a split second while my brain rushed to find it�s bearings. Once it did, I did what any normal person would do. I ran away. My heart was pounding so hard I was sure I was imminent danger of a heart attack. My breathing was ragged and out of control to the point where I felt light headed. As my feet took me as fast as they could to the other side of the store I found myself muttering the only soothing thing I could think of, �Holy SHIT. Holy SHIT.� Honestly, it would have been easier to run into one of my exes. I would much prefer to turn around and find the guy I lost my virginity to than this boy I used to love. I could explain the situation, but I already have. I feel bad about some of the stuff I wrote there now. I feel bad about how things ended between us now. I don�t know if it�s the wisdom that comes with age or the perspective that comes with distance, but it would have been nice to have been able to say �hi� to my old friend who I once loved with my whole heart. Instead, I tiptoed around the store like a paranoid schizophrenic, constantly glancing over my shoulder and making repeated attempts to get back to the Christmas lights so I could buy the one thing that had brought me to the store in the first place. My heart was still thundering and my cheeks were still flushed even after I got home and he�s been on my mind ever since. I still miss my old friend. I still wish things had worked out better. I had a date last weekend. It went really well. I had a good time. I never heard from the guy again. I think I�m figuring something out here though. Obviously I have been put under a curse by evil, jealous fairies. The End. |
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