The Better Part of Me...

Heart Explosion
2007-01-18 @ 3:09 p.m.

We had a fight last night.

Nobody else in the world would call it a fight, but it�s the closest we have come.

His feelings were hurt because Oliver protected me when Todd assumed a threatening pose. He snapped at Oliver and I snapped at him. You can�t encourage behavior in a dog one minute and then punish him for it the next. No wonder Oliver is such a weirdo. I think that maybe these types of spats are practice for child rearing. Hopefully the issues won�t be the same.

He was angry, and probably a little hurt and I felt him pull his body away from mine in an effort to find some space. My mind turned to thoughts of how long the night was going to be as I concentrated on giving him the space he needed and not pouting about the rebuff. I felt bad because I thought I knew what was going on, but I didn�t feel bad because for once I wasn�t acting out of some selfish and bratty place. This is a boundary that we need established.

A crash in the living room sent us both flying out of bed, I reached the scene first and found that the cats had knocked a TV tray over. It was a messy, chaotic scene, and it was the last straw for me. I flipped the lights back of and stomped back to bed. Why is my reaction to anger always to get angrier? This, I think, is probably not the healthiest response.

We settled into bed and he touched my arm. Silence settled around us until finally, with a sigh he spoke:

Todd: �I�m sorry. I shouldn�t have yelled at Beans. I�m just very unhappy with my job right now.�

Shelly:�I know you are. And it�s okay.�

Todd: �I shouldn�t take it out on Beans though��

**silence as a cat jumps on the bed**

Todd: �I should take it out on Miss Shadow.�

Shelly: **laughing** I thought you were going to say you should take it out on me.

Todd: �Are you kidding me? You work out now. I would not invite that kind of abuse upon myself��

Sometimes he�s so much a better person than I am that my heart explodes a little.

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