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All at Once
So�I�ve been busy. Sometimes life seems to take forever. A couple of weeks ago everything I wanted seemed so far off and unreachable still. I felt like we were going to talk about it forever and that it was never really going to happen. In the span of 48 hours, everything has changed. Well, not everything. Don�t get too excited, there are no huge announcements forthcoming. Not huge for you anyway. As of July 1, I will be roommate free. There is a tremendous amount of freedom attached to this, an enormous weight off my shoulders. And underneath it all, a little bit of sadness. When Sarah T. first moved in, it was the best situation I could have asked for. We lived like sisters. We were both single and we both liked to go out and neither of us was afraid to get our drink on. We had a blast together. We�d stay in and watch movies, eat our weight in pizza, recount our numerous disasterous blind dates, and it was wonderful. We had a really good system set up. Sometime in the last six months, that all changed. It would be easy for me to say that it changed because of the boy, because I met him and we started dating and he became more important to me than the bad bar and we started spending copious amounts of time together. It would be very easy to let the weight of this change rest solely on my shoulders, but I think the shift began even before the boy entered the picture. Sarah T. got a part time job and started making new friends and developing a new social circle. The break, at first, was miniscule, but it set into motion a chain of events that led us to where we are today. In truth, nobody is to blame for the way things worked out. Life just changed � for both of us, and as we grew, we grew separately from each other and that doesn�t have to be a bad thing, it�s happened in a lot of my other friendships and we have weathered it. The problem has been that we were living basically right on top of each other so that every change and every step away from who we used to be to each other has been magnified. I have spent almost 5 months mourning the friendship that we used to have and feeling guilty for letting it go. I don�t have to do that anymore. It�s not my fault. Life happened. So now we go our separate ways. I honestly believe that this might be the only thing that saves our friendship in the long run. The way we used to be worked for the way we lived together. The people we�ve become don�t work like that anymore. I�m excited to have my house back. I�m excited to let the boy come over whenever he wants to and not worry about how it�s going to affect my living situation for the next week after that. I�m excited to be able to give the boy a key! I�m excited because the next roommate I have�will be the boy. It feels like a giant ball has bet put into motion with this first step, and I�m unbelievably excited about where this is all headed. There will be some stress involved, financially this is going to put quite a strain on me and I�ll have some lifestyle adjustments to make, and there is a sort of mourning period that I feel like I�m going to go through but mostly�I�m just SO excited! Things are going well with the boy. Unimaginably (for me) well. We�re comfortable enough to bitch at each other now, particularly when we�re hungry and/or tired. He�s become my best friend, he�s the first person I want to call when something happens in my life and he�s the last voice I want to hear before I fall asleep at night. The urgency of our first couple months together is gone � but it�s been replaced by something very comfortable, very safe, and very�good. We tried to introduce Oliver to his cats last weekend. The animals, unfortunately, did not fall in love immediately. There was much hissing and spitting and hair standing on end. Oliver, bless his heart, was almost blissfully unaware. He wanted desperately to be allowed to sniff some cat butt, however he never got that chance. The one cat who was brave enough to get remotely close to Oliver rewarded him with a hiss in the face and a bat to the nose (which hurt Oliver�s feelings tremendously). When punishment for this act was enforced, all hell broke loose and we found ourselves witness to a catfight of monumental proportions, completely with screaming, flying fur, and ungodly cat noises. Oliver, who likes to break up anything that causes a lot of noise and/or commotion started barking and pulling on his leash to get into the middle of things. I finally got him yanked out the front door and realized that he was totally unaffected by the scene we�d just witnessed. He wandered around peeing on every tree he could find while I worked the shakes out of my system. Casualties of the day include the boy�s awesome new shorts which somehow got torn to shreds in the scuffle. Needless to say, that is not how we planned for things to go. It appears that we�re going to have to re-think our strategy here. It�s like uniting two different families. I�ve been through this with people. Hopefully the end result can be just as successful with the animals. |
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