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Dad Issues
My dad was in town this week. This means that I spent an entire afternoon with my crazy side of the family on Sunday. As I've mentioned - the afternoon resulted in my grandma telling my 50(ish) year old uncle to go to his room (without any trace of irony) and him retorting with "Don't boss me around! I have other places I can go....MOM" - still, without any trace of irony. Later on that same uncle disappeared to his room to play video games and watch Sci Fi movies. I think this sort of behavior stops being normal after the age of 30 (and yes, I'm being generous here) and it starts bordering on "freakish" the closer you get to 50. Add "never been married" and "still lives with parents" to the mixture and...well, you just can't help but cringe, can you? In any case - turns out that spending time with my dad these days is stressful. I'm not typically a very high strung person, so it's come as something of a surprise to feel so emotionally and physically drained after only two visits with him in 2 days. Generally we only exchange phone calls 2 or three times a year, so this sort of face to face interaction is a bit shocking to the system. We don't really know what to say to each other or how to act around one another. I'm not his little girl anymore and truthfully? He's not really my dad anymore. We trade the obligatory "I love yous" but I like to think that we both know that we're just saying them because there's nothing better to say. I don't believe he can really love me because he doesn't even know me, and he can't truly expect me to love him because his role in my life has diminished so much in the last 15 years that it's almost become invisible. I don't even know when his birthday is, I never have. And I'm good with birthdays. In any case, the Dad and his family (pregnant stepmom - it's a girl, 3 young girls and one boy) stopped by to check out my house last night. I showed them about and fluffed myself up like a little peacock - the way I always do when showing off and they oohed and ahhed over the house and my dog and then as quickly as they descended upon me, they left. That's when my sister pulled me into the kitchen and pointed at my refrigerator. And there it was - the 22 year old family picture that my grandma had given to me several months ago. I didn't know where to put it, so I just stuck it to the refrigerator for safekeeping. And there it sat - my entire family circa 1981 with the teeny round magnet placed precisely over my dad's face, blocking him from the picture entirely. It was done intentionally, though without malice. And...well...I guess now he knows. ************************************* Reading: The Last Dance by Eileen Goudge. It's....eh. Okay so far. Recently Saw: My dad and his crazy family. See above. Excited about the OC tonight! Everyone should watch it! It's gonna be a party! |
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